How to Speak Up in Meetings (when you’d really rather not)
As an introvert, speaking up in meetings can be challenging for a number of reasons:
The spotlight tends to shine brightest on the loudest voices, meaning that introverts can find themselves overlooked or unheard
Our reserved nature means we prefer to wait for our cue to speak or be invited into the conversation
We want to make sure our contributions are meaningful, well thought out and accurate
Deep down you know you have value to add to the discussion. You just need to share it in a way that’s comfortable for you.
Coaching can be a really helpful tool to explore what’s happening for you and how this might be holding you back.
As a coach, I encourage you to ask yourself:
What are you thinking and feeling when you’re in that moment?
What do you need to think and feel instead in order to speak up?
There are also practical strategies you can adopt that can make it feel easier too. Here are 5 ideas you could try:
Prepare in advance - with a naturally reflective style, responding on the spot can be an introvert’s worst nightmare. Ask for the agenda in advance (where there is one) so you can spend time before the meeting reflecting on the topics and prepare any contributions you want to make.
Find your moment, your way - try to look for a natural break in the conversation. Find ways to indicate that you have a contribution to make, for example make eye contact with the meeting host, put down your pen or adjust your papers to show you’re ready to get involved. If it’s an online meeting, use the ‘raise your hand’ function.
Use written communication - if you’re on a video call, use the chat function to make your point where you can articulate your thoughts clearly (just be prepared that you might be asked to elaborate verbally). Send a follow up email after the meeting with a short summary, add further input or ask questions.
Find an ally - someone who can bring you into the conversation, who spots your subtle cues that you’re ready to share - speak to them in advance and let them know you find it difficult. Where it’s appropriate, follow up with people 1:1 after the meeting - sharing your thoughts outside of a group setting can be much easier and helps to build rapport for the next meeting.
Take the pressure off - there are other ways to demonstrate your value outside of meetings so if it doesn’t feel right, don’t force yourself to make your voice heard just for the sake of it. When you do want to speak, try not to overthink or over-edit what you’re about to say - not every response has to be perfectly formed and accurate. If you don’t have the answer, there’s no harm in deferring your response by saying “I need to give that some more thought, can I come back to you”, or “my initial view is XYZ but I need some more information before I can say for sure”.
I have a challenge for you!
Set yourself a goal to contribute to the next meeting you go to. Start small. Say something incidental. Comment that you agree with a particular point. Ask a question. Anything that builds up the practice of speaking up.
Top Tip: Speak up early in the meeting; the longer you leave it the more self doubt creeps in and the more pressure you put on yourself.
Let me know how you do, I’m cheering you on! Drop me an email: hello@heatherhillcoaching.com. I’d love to hear from you.